Eat Me

Eat Me #2: Stores, Stress, Sleep Issues and Storms

For last weeks article, click here.

1.)Stores

I absolutely hate going grocery shopping or any kind of shopping in particular. If I could, I would do all of my shopping on-line. Unfortunately once a week we need to go to the store for food and other items. Jen wasn’t feeling well today, so my daughter and I went to the store on our own. This trip would be even more awkward because our daughter needed a new bra and wasn’t thrilled to be going bra shopping with dad.

So we make our way to the store and it was about three times busier than usual. Already not good but we head on in. We head straight to the section with the girls bras and it is awkward… My daughter picked out one and went to try it on. While she did that I sat there looking at my shoes. Why are the dressing rooms at Wal-Mart always situated directly next to the lingerie? Very Annoying.

Anyway, she found one and we moved on to our other items on the list. Recently, the store we go to updated their entire floor plan, which means nothing is where I remember it being. Being someone who is adverse to chance, this makes shopping even more stressful. I’d go to where I think something should be and then realize I was in the wrong area. It might not seem that bad to most people but to me it is a nightmare.

Lastly, it seemed like everything on our list had someone standing directly in front of it. So I would patiently wait for the person to move on, yet more often than not it seemed like the people were statues just standing there. This drove me absolutely up the wall, I didn’t want to be rude but several times I had to ask people to move so that i could get the item that we came for. Anyway, it’s over, but shopping can definitely Eat ME!

2.)Stress

Today wasn’t as bad as the rest of the week as far as work goes, but the entire week as a whole has been awful. One stressful situation after another. I work in a high stress career, accounting, but generally things don’t hit you left and right. This week though was really bad.

On top of this, many of my old coping mechanisms seem to be working less since my diagnosis. I know that this is psychosomatic but it is very bothersome. The fact that my stimming and quiet moments don’t seem to be working at calming me down has made the days seem to last forever and the stress simply compound. At the moment the only thing that seems to have a calming effect on me is my writing and Star Trek. I’ll go more into Star Trek in a later post, but I’ll only say that the show has an effect on me that almost nothing else does. I’ve watched all of the shows and seasons multiple times but find new things to love each time I watch them.

Anyway, the stress has led me to have some severe stomach issues and headaches. It has been bright and sunny all week which has led to my sensory issues being even worse. As I’ve said many times, I love my brain and I hate my brain, this week I’ve been more along the lines of hating my brain. I’m just glad it’s over and this week can eat me.

3.) Sleep Issues

So I finally got on Ambien which has helped me get to sleep and stay asleep, yet I am no more rested. The doctor and Jennifer believe that I have sleep apnea. So on the 20th of this month i have to go in and do a sleep study. Basically that means that I will go to the hospital, have a bunch of electrodes attached to my body, and be forced to sleep like that so that the specialist can judge whether or not I have Apnea.

In all honesty, I probably do have Apnea but the thought of the test is awful to me, the idea of having a CPAP machine is awful to me, and the whole thing is just plain awful to me. I’ll go through with it and do as the doctors say, but it is not going to be easy on me. I am incredibly stressed about this, How is it that I can’t even sleep right? Anyway, my sleep issues can EAT ME!

4.) Storms

I swear if I see another religious person blaming the severe weather that we have been experiencing nationwide to the wrath of god I will spit. Whether that is the hurricanes, wildfires, or extreme droughts, these folks are completely willing to blame it all on an invisible man, instead of calling it what it actually is, the effects of climate change.

Some people will say they don’t deny that climate change is real only that they don’t believe it is actually caused by man. Well the science is in, it is due to us, grow up or get used to these severe weather patterns.  To continue denying this fact is to leave our children and grandchildren with a worse world to clean up, if they are even able to survive on this planet by that point.

What makes this worse currently is I have two kids that live in Florida. They aren’t expecting to get the full brunt of the storm where they are at but it is still concerning to me. I hope they will stay safe and things remain calm for them throughout the next week. Seeing folks act as if god is doing this because he is pissed off about something, or that this is actually some insidious plot by the government, is incredibly annoying to me.

Science deniers, whether they be religious or conspiracy theorists are doing the world an incredible disservice. It absolutely sickens me that a huge chunk of the American population falls into these two categories. If you do fall into one of these categories, EAT ME!

 

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