Wednesday Woo

Wednesday Woo #8: Pwning Clickbait “Evidence”

For last week’s Wednesday Woo, click here.

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a contrarian as:

“A person who takes a contrary position or attitude; specifically :  an investor who buys shares of stock when most others are selling and sells when others are buying”

If this be the true confines of the term, then I am a contrarian, since I refuse to buy into nonsense beliefs in things without evidence, conflations of the truth, and suspect definitions. I just cannot bring myself to invest in stupidity anymore, no matter how popular it may be, or how happy it makes people feel.

For instance, this shitpost I saw the other day from “author unknown”…


This author should remain unknown, and their ideas should be well hidden under the moldy rock from which they came. And yes, I redacted the photo and put a cat there. It felt about as silly as the original pic. So yeah – I’m not linking to this credulous drivel. I wouldn’t grant it the privilege of clicks nor the money it receives in ads as a result of these clicks, but I will address the article’s ideas, which I have seen expressed over and over again in woo-woo circles.

One cannot help but wonder about the terms given here. What do they mean by “activation” and “ascension process?” Perhaps the article sheds some light on the writer’s meaning. Turns out, they go on to say that the ascension process is “going back to” the twelve strands of DNA as opposed to two, explaining that these extra strands are on other dimensions. Although some stranded structures could potentially develop artificially or hypothetically, DNA is typically known to be a double helix, and I have no idea why they have conflated mathematical systems like “dimensions” in their article for any other reason than to confuse the reader. Why the hell would our DNA be in the math we made up? Sure, there is the element that we created the math, but that seems to be the only logical connection I can make to DNA being even remotely close to the concept of mathematical dimensions. But don’t take my word for its meaning.


Multidimensional Systems

Dimensions and Equation Systems

Check this one out.  I don’t even like math, but it was easy to define the terms that have been misused in this piece by doing a quick google search. It just goes to show that either “author unknown” didn’t understand what a dimension is, or they are willingly being deceptive. Clickbait would never be deceptive though, right?

Next it goes on to describe how the right and left hemispheres of the human brain are disconnected, so the only course of action to reestablish connection is activating the DNA strands in the other dimensions, and ascend!


Whatever that means. Assuming they are describing the real, physical human brain, the corpus callosum, a band of nerve fibers, already connects the right and left of the brain.  Knowing the terms the article uses makes it seem like utter hogwash, doesn’t it?

It then continues on to appeal to the ancient, invoking the pyramids and Egypt. Then echoes “spirit science” with the whole “we are evolving from carbon forms to ‘crystalline’ nonsense. It also boasts about how the chakra systems are so wonderful they can cause this newly activated DNA to send and receive messages from the “higher self” to the “soul” – God, right? They must mean god. The next section discusses how you will gain special new “programs” so you can connect to the mythical Akashic record, which supposedly contains all knowledge of the past, present and future. All you have to do is “vibrate at a higher frequency” by altering your thoughts and emotions. Yeah they want you to believe you can talk to magical beings with your DNA and obtain all knowledge that exists in the fairyland dimension by the power of thought and emotions. Cool story, bro.



It concludes with a short description of how this is an ongoing process, since they say children are being born with 3 strands of DNA. (Uh…citation, please?) It ends with the conspiracy theory of how the Annunaki (aliens) altered our physiology, and we must look for a “cosmic wildcard” such as solar flares or cosmic wind in order to activate our DNA back to…however it was. It never says what a cosmic wildcard would look like, so I’m guessing it takes the form of whatever you want it to. I cannot help but wonder what the folks that took this article seriously are keeping an eye out for. Perhaps they took it literally and are awaiting actual wild cards from the game “uno” to fall from the sky.

How I feel reading articles like this:


While it may feel good to wonder about other dimensions, aliens, and if there is some super-duper space we can tap into in order to gain instant knowledge of everything, there’s simply no evidence to justify believing these things are real. Using these this article and others like it as confirmation to ideas that make you feel superior, and on a path to some kind of super power is pure mental masturbation. Surely if there were a way to activate our DNA and obtain all information of past and present it would have been done already. There would be human encyclopedias among us who could answer any historical question presented, easily demonstrating their knowledge by pointing to the exact location where Jimmy Hoffa is buried (or some other unknown fact that science could verify). The fact is, this idea is utter fiction, and such articles should never be taken seriously. I suppose it just takes too much work to be a skeptic, and far too easy to believe whatever the hell you wish.

One thought on “Wednesday Woo #8: Pwning Clickbait “Evidence”

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