Deep Thoughts · The Diary Of My Mind

Deep Thoughts: A Note About My Deathbed Conversion

This is slightly a response blog to this blog here: The Common Atheist.

Dearest Future World,

Perhaps you have heard that upon my deathbed I made a miraculous conversion. The family is praising their god for the supposed choice that I made at the last-minute. I’m singing with the angels now, I’m in a better place, I’m with god in heaven…or so you’ve been told.

Allow me to expand upon the good cheer that my family is sharing to let you know why this conversion came about. There are four reasons that I can think of off the top of my head that they are sharing this information with you.

Reason 1: They are lying

It makes them feel better to believe that I am still alive in some other world. In their deep grief they have come up with this scenario where I gave my life back to the lord just before my final breath and so I am still with them in some way. Don’t hate them for this but know that they are simply doing anything to alleviate their grief. I too have lost those that I loved and wanted more time with them and yet death is the end. I no longer exist anywhere outside of my various rantings on here and within the minds of those who loved me. Give them time and maybe one day the need to lie will subside and they can accept my nonexistence.

Reason 2: I Just Wanted Left Alone

As I was dying I had so many people visit me telling me that I needed to worry about my eternal soul and that I needed to make matters right with the lord. I got so annoyed with it that I finally pretended to go through the ceremony just to get folks to shut up and leave me alone. I love my family but damn they can really be pushy at times. I ate the cracker, I drank the juice, I said the prayer and then finally I got some peace away from their worries. Death sucks but being hounded at death is even worse.

Reason 3: Death Is Scary

As the time grew near I began to realize just how soon my life would end. The pain and anguish that I’ve been through over the last few months or years has left me in a state where I simply want some form of release and yet death is an unknown. Will it hurt? Will I go peacefully in my sleep? The closer I get the idea of non-existence becomes scarier and scarier and I keep getting told that just in case there is an afterlife I should make myself right with god. I know that I don’t want to experience anymore pain and even though I realize that my chance of picking the correct god is 1 in 3000, I’d play my wager just in case. My mind is in flux due to the pain and the effects of the pain killers. I am not myself anymore and I can no longer see through to a rational and logical end.

Reason 4: My Mind Is Gone

Hello world, in the last few months or years of my life the old me died and a new me was born. Dementia or disease has clouded my mind and I no longer have the ability to think rationally in the way I did when I was younger.  I live in absolute terror from lucid moment to lucid moment. I do not know who it is that visits me, I don’t know why they cry and why they beg me to consider the things I do. I want my mother. I need my father. I don’t trust these people. Am I sick or are they trying to kill me? They speak of this god and in my mental state he seems wonderful. I no longer remember the bible, the old or new testament. I am simply told that there is a place where my mind will be clear and I will no longer be terrified all the time. I just want my mind back.


These are the reasons that I might make the choice of a deathbed confession but know that at this point in time, with a rational and logical mind I see no reason to believe in something that there is absolutely no evidence of. If you hear of my conversion, know that it was not this person who speaks today that converted, it was someone who was annoyed, sick, or out of their mind. Always remember that grief could also lead my family and friends to simply lie about my conversion as they have done with many in the past.


Weekend Tube

Weekend Tube #1

So this is simply going to be a series of videos that I found particularly interesting throughout the week as well as what I consider to be the video of the week. This will include 5 runners up and then the top video of the week.  I hope you’ll check them out.

5.) Godless Engineer Interviews Anti-Ordinary

I really recommend this video, if you haven’t seen either of these two before then this would be a great introduction to both. Both Godless Engineer and Anti-Ordinary have there own channels with some great videos. Check them out!

4.) PragerU Thinks Feelings Justify Belief in An Afterlife

PragerU is synonymous with Bullshit among the atheist community and Godless Cranium does an excellent job of taking this video apart. I hope you’ll check it out.

3.) Hugo & Jake Watch “The Case for Christ”

Damn this is funny…seriously, if you like review videos then this is the one for you. I don’t know if I have ever laughed so much at a video like this ever before. You will not regret watching this video.

2.) Why Are We Here? Because F#%K LOGIC (Joe Muslim 3-1)

Logicked has absolutely no problem telling folks exactly why their reasoning is awful regardless of the faith they follow. In this video Logicked responds to a Muslim who has some very strange beliefs. Enjoy!

1.) Why do religious believers hate reality so much?

AronRa is one of my absolute favorite activists on the planet. This talk speaks on why believers seem to have such issues with the reality that we actually find ourselves living in. I hope you will give it a view and let me know what you think.

VIDEO OF THE WEEK – David Mitchell Doesn’t Understand Atheism

Rationality Rules Debunked series is absolutely fantastic, a real highlight of any week. I’m actually a fan of Mitchell’s but he does make some assumptions that are just blatantly wrong. Check out this video and many more on Rationality Rules channel.

So what did you think of the videos above? Let me know in the comments. Did I miss a video this week that you feel should have been included in my list? If so please share so I can check it out.  If you liked what you saw, please subscribe to their channel.

Once again, thank you for following my blog and for the comments you share. I appreciate it!

Satanic Sundays

Satanic Sunday #9: Muppets, Bowie, and Aslan

For those new to my blog, Satanic Sunday is an article about something that was considered evil or “Satanic” when I was a child. This could be something that my parents taught me or something that was just a general belief in the churches that we attended. These are definitely not my beliefs today and looking back I think of how funny it is that the church was so scared of these things.

For the last Satanic Sunday, click here: Satanic Sunday# 8: Critical Thinking

Now, let’s be clear, I’m not talking about the regular muppets that we all know and love. I’ve already touched upon them in a previous article about cartoons that were considered evil, which you can find here: Satanic Sunday #6: Children’s Cartoons, but Fozie Bear, Gonzo, Kermit and Miss Piggy are safe from today’s article. These were not the only Muppets that existed and this article will be about some of Jim Henson’s other creations.

The Dark Crystal

dark crystal.jpg

Now the Dark Crystal is a wonderful movie and I say this having only watched it in my early 30’s. See this movie involved magic, mysticism, good and evil, as well as some fairly scary scenes that were outside the norm of other children’s movies of the same time period. It’s an absolutely stunning visual delight that really puts you into the world of Thra. It involves a Gelfling who goes on a journey to fix a crystal and restore balance to the world.

The most insidious part of the film is that it deals with a fairly touchy subject, the idea that within us all is contained a good and a very evil side. When the crystal is broken, two races of beings are created, the evil Skeksis and the benevolent mystics. The Skeksis want to use the crystal to obtain immortality and destroy the mystics. We learn throughout the film that these two races are actually two sides of the same creature and by restoring the crystal, the two races are brought back together into one race the urSkeks.

You see, Christians like to believe that while they are sinners, when they become saved god replaces all the bad in their lives and replaces it with good. The idea of the dual nature of man is considered evil because it negates gods transformative power.  If we can work together to fix our own issues then where would god come into the picture.

The other aspect of this film that Christians find so appalling is the imagery and symbolism used throughout the film. The Thra system is, in a way, a form of sun worship. The sun shines through the crystal and grants immortality to those in its vicinity. Eternal life is obviously only bestowed by middle eastern zombies and so this fantasy world is entirely evil. It’s going to lead our children to mysticism, crystals, and probably raw water…


The only question that I would ask is this; If your god is so powerful, then how could children be led astray by Muppets?



The second film that I would like to speak about today is, Labyrinth. An absolute classic featuring both Muppets and David Bowie. How on earth could anyone be against that concept just from the start?

Well, for starters this movie is dark and I do mean dark. The movie starts with a girl who is asked by her parents to babysit her infant brother. She is late getting home and gets a scolding from her stepmother. Upon seeing her brother who is holding one of her old toys that she has neglected for years,she wishes that her brother be carried away by the goblin king(Bowie), as any teenager would.  The movie is then about her journey, through the labyrinth, to rescue her baby brother, realize she still loves her old toys, defeat the goblin king and learn that while she is growing up she still needs her neglected friends, the toys.

Bowie is absolutely superb as the goblin king and the film is once again a visual delight. It’s once again pretty scary for a children’s movie but everything melds together so well that the scary nature is forgotten over the absolute beauty of Jim Henson’s creations. I mean look at these guys..


The reason this film is panned by many Christians is once again due to the fact that it involves magic. The Goblin King uses a crystal ball, sings about his evil plans, and attempts to draw the girl to his side and his wicked ways.

The one thing that might cause some children to have nightmares is one particular scene that is truly horrifying.


I mean look at that….Bowie is obviously being attacked by some sort of python in his pants. How could you look at this scene and not feel slightly inadequate in some way? Luckily nowhere in the film does Bowie use his magic wand for anything but to tear apart my psyche and self-esteem.

Anyway this film is claimed to be satanic because it’s dark, it contains magic, and it features Bowie’s thunder dong.  Horrifying!!!


The Chronicles of Narnia


This is not a Jim Henson creation but I wanted to include it just in case you thought that Christians only pan movies that are dark and scary….

Now this last one is strange because as anyone can tell you, The Chronicles of Narnia is absolutely chock full of Christian imagery. The writer of the series, C.S. Lewis, is considered by many to be one of the best christian apologists of the last century and so it seems odd that his children;s series about the destruction of evil and the triumph of the good would be seen as Satanic by some.

Well, this basically starts with the title of the first book in the series, “The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Now Christians don’t give a fuck about fashion or felines but it’s the witch in the title that causes such a huge stir. This book and film series teach children that witches are real and that they can actually harness the powers of evil for their own success. It doesn’t matter that the entire series is about how the powers of evil fall far short of the powers of the good, Aslan the lion(Jesus in feline form).

Nope, simply that this book involves magic makes it satanic. It doesn’t matter that the writer spent the majority of his time writing books that supposedly proved the accuracy and inerrant nature of the bible, all that matters is that he taught children that witches were a real thing and that they had actual power….the hilarity being that witches are a real thing and that the most power they can come up with is of the herbal variety and does absolutely nothing in regards to good or evil…

Maybe some would be upset that it teaches children it’s ok to walk up to a male lion and have a conversation with it but no, schizophrenia is fine, but a weak witch is not.

Lewis also includes in his work some imagery and characters from Roman and Greek mythology but these characters generally don’t play a huge role in the books, or do but are being used by the dark side of the force….oops wrong movie…by the evil side in order to try to trick the children into no longer following Aslan.   These films are actually benign in their entirety and in my opinion are pretty boring. They are beautiful visually but lack any real substance in my own opinion.

And in case you’ve forgotten over the last couple of minutes…here it is….once again in all it’s purple headed, blue-veined, trouser trout glory…