For those new to my blog, Satanic Sunday is an article about something that was considered evil or “Satanic” when I was a child. This could be something that my parents taught me or something that was just a general belief in the churches that we attended. These are definitely not my beliefs today and looking back I think of how funny it is that the church was so scared of these things.
For the last Satanic Sunday, click here: Satanic Sunday# 8: Critical Thinking
Now, let’s be clear, I’m not talking about the regular muppets that we all know and love. I’ve already touched upon them in a previous article about cartoons that were considered evil, which you can find here: Satanic Sunday #6: Children’s Cartoons, but Fozie Bear, Gonzo, Kermit and Miss Piggy are safe from today’s article. These were not the only Muppets that existed and this article will be about some of Jim Henson’s other creations.
The Dark Crystal
Now the Dark Crystal is a wonderful movie and I say this having only watched it in my early 30’s. See this movie involved magic, mysticism, good and evil, as well as some fairly scary scenes that were outside the norm of other children’s movies of the same time period. It’s an absolutely stunning visual delight that really puts you into the world of Thra. It involves a Gelfling who goes on a journey to fix a crystal and restore balance to the world.
The most insidious part of the film is that it deals with a fairly touchy subject, the idea that within us all is contained a good and a very evil side. When the crystal is broken, two races of beings are created, the evil Skeksis and the benevolent mystics. The Skeksis want to use the crystal to obtain immortality and destroy the mystics. We learn throughout the film that these two races are actually two sides of the same creature and by restoring the crystal, the two races are brought back together into one race the urSkeks.
You see, Christians like to believe that while they are sinners, when they become saved god replaces all the bad in their lives and replaces it with good. The idea of the dual nature of man is considered evil because it negates gods transformative power. If we can work together to fix our own issues then where would god come into the picture.
The other aspect of this film that Christians find so appalling is the imagery and symbolism used throughout the film. The Thra system is, in a way, a form of sun worship. The sun shines through the crystal and grants immortality to those in its vicinity. Eternal life is obviously only bestowed by middle eastern zombies and so this fantasy world is entirely evil. It’s going to lead our children to mysticism, crystals, and probably raw water…
The only question that I would ask is this; If your god is so powerful, then how could children be led astray by Muppets?
The second film that I would like to speak about today is, Labyrinth. An absolute classic featuring both Muppets and David Bowie. How on earth could anyone be against that concept just from the start?
Well, for starters this movie is dark and I do mean dark. The movie starts with a girl who is asked by her parents to babysit her infant brother. She is late getting home and gets a scolding from her stepmother. Upon seeing her brother who is holding one of her old toys that she has neglected for years,she wishes that her brother be carried away by the goblin king(Bowie), as any teenager would. The movie is then about her journey, through the labyrinth, to rescue her baby brother, realize she still loves her old toys, defeat the goblin king and learn that while she is growing up she still needs her neglected friends, the toys.
Bowie is absolutely superb as the goblin king and the film is once again a visual delight. It’s once again pretty scary for a children’s movie but everything melds together so well that the scary nature is forgotten over the absolute beauty of Jim Henson’s creations. I mean look at these guys..
The reason this film is panned by many Christians is once again due to the fact that it involves magic. The Goblin King uses a crystal ball, sings about his evil plans, and attempts to draw the girl to his side and his wicked ways.
The one thing that might cause some children to have nightmares is one particular scene that is truly horrifying.
I mean look at that….Bowie is obviously being attacked by some sort of python in his pants. How could you look at this scene and not feel slightly inadequate in some way? Luckily nowhere in the film does Bowie use his magic wand for anything but to tear apart my psyche and self-esteem.
Anyway this film is claimed to be satanic because it’s dark, it contains magic, and it features Bowie’s thunder dong. Horrifying!!!
The Chronicles of Narnia
This is not a Jim Henson creation but I wanted to include it just in case you thought that Christians only pan movies that are dark and scary….
Now this last one is strange because as anyone can tell you, The Chronicles of Narnia is absolutely chock full of Christian imagery. The writer of the series, C.S. Lewis, is considered by many to be one of the best christian apologists of the last century and so it seems odd that his children;s series about the destruction of evil and the triumph of the good would be seen as Satanic by some.
Well, this basically starts with the title of the first book in the series, “The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Now Christians don’t give a fuck about fashion or felines but it’s the witch in the title that causes such a huge stir. This book and film series teach children that witches are real and that they can actually harness the powers of evil for their own success. It doesn’t matter that the entire series is about how the powers of evil fall far short of the powers of the good, Aslan the lion(Jesus in feline form).
Nope, simply that this book involves magic makes it satanic. It doesn’t matter that the writer spent the majority of his time writing books that supposedly proved the accuracy and inerrant nature of the bible, all that matters is that he taught children that witches were a real thing and that they had actual power….the hilarity being that witches are a real thing and that the most power they can come up with is of the herbal variety and does absolutely nothing in regards to good or evil…
Maybe some would be upset that it teaches children it’s ok to walk up to a male lion and have a conversation with it but no, schizophrenia is fine, but a weak witch is not.
Lewis also includes in his work some imagery and characters from Roman and Greek mythology but these characters generally don’t play a huge role in the books, or do but are being used by the dark side of the force….oops wrong movie…by the evil side in order to try to trick the children into no longer following Aslan. These films are actually benign in their entirety and in my opinion are pretty boring. They are beautiful visually but lack any real substance in my own opinion.
And in case you’ve forgotten over the last couple of minutes…here it is….once again in all it’s purple headed, blue-veined, trouser trout glory…