Good morning heathens and hell-bound friends and foes. It’s time for another edition of Unmasking Doctrine, where I take to task the “16 Fundamental Truths” of the Assemblies of God. If you’d like to read the first article in this series, click here: Unmasking Doctrine #1: The Inspired Scriptures. Today we will be dealing with the second “truth” which according to ag.org is as follows…
“The one true God has revealed Himself as the eternally self-existent “I AM,” the Creator of heaven and earth and the Redeemer of mankind. He has further revealed Himself as embodying the principles of relationship and association as Father, Son and Holy Spirit.”
2.) Only One God Dude
So after this we are given a handful of scriptures.
We are then treated to a bunch of mumbo jumbo and scriptures that try to explain the Trinity and the godhead. I’m going to skip these since they do as good of a job at explaining the trinity as my following example.
So let’s say you are craving an ice cream cone, you go to a shop and order a waffle cone, with two scoops of vanilla and chocolate sprinkles. Well, God is the cone, Jesus is the vanilla, and the holy spirit is the chocolate sprinkles. Now that we have that out-of-the-way let’s move on to why this really makes no sense.
So the claims of the Christian church is that there is one true god, the Christian one. Yet many Christians also believe that both Jesus and the Holy Spirit are other forms of god which would seem to nullify the claim that Christianity is monotheistic. In order to justify their claims the Christian church came up with the doctrine of the trinity, something that when you try to think about it, just confuses things more.
Now I do want to point out that there are numerous denominations that reject the trinity altogether. So the belief in the triune god is not even agreed upon by all Christians. However we are dealing specifically with the AoG’s and they are decidedly trinitarian. I preached on the trinity many times during my time as a minister and even so the idea never did and never will make sense to me.
So anyway, let’s look at a passage of the Bible that seems to speak out against the belief in a three in one god.
“3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me. 4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;”
God is jealous….I mean he’s the only one and it would seem that jealously would run counter to perfection but we see here that it states god’s a jealous guy. He’s driving past your place at night just to make sure there are no calves in your driveway and no incense smoke coming out your chimney.
Contrary to what trinitarians want you to believe, the old testament has absolutely no scriptures that specifically point towards a triune god. The AoG even mention this in their statement about the one true god…
“The terms “Trinity” and “persons” as related to the Godhead, while not found in the Scriptures,…”
it then makes the claim…
…”are words in harmony with Scripture, whereby we may convey to others our immediate understanding of the doctrine of Christ respecting the Being of God, as distinguished from “gods many and lords many.””
So basically we invented this concept so that we can distinguish our three-in-one god from those dirty polytheists that believe in many gods or many lords. You don’t want to be confused with Hindus or Islamics… So in order to easily convey the Bibles strange contradictions about having only one god and yet having three, we will talk about something that confuses the matter even more.
One of the things that I have found most hilarious about these beliefs is how adamant congregants and ministers in the assemblies will defend these beliefs against other faiths. I’ve heard people make fun of Islam, claiming that Islam has both God and Mohammad, while stating that there is only one true god. No this isn’t actually true with Islam but we’re not going into Islam but just think of how hypocritical those beliefs are. Two is ridiculous but three is completely rational. Makes total sense…
So let’s talk a little bit the members of the Trinity…
1.) God the Father
This is that wrathful, genocidal, manical god from the old testament. He’s the guy that can’t create anything without it eventually turning on him. I mean think about it, he created both the angels and man only to have them both revolt against his wishes…
This is the god that spends the entirety of the old testament killing anyone who even thinks about looking in the direction of another god. This god not only wants to send you to the fiery pits of hell, he will put a cigarette out on his skin and orgasm while he does it.
2.) God the Son
So god takes a sabbatical, tries yoga, and starts smoking pot. He then realizes that a lot of the things that he once advocated for are kinda batshit crazy. This god never kills anyone and especially doesn’t light people on fire for touching a box. Sure…he invents hell but with all the stuff he negates from the old testament, supposedly, it’s almost impossible to end up there. He has only one real rule….stop paying attention to all the worship laws from the old testament and instead believe in him. It’s going to get better because in order to save us from his dad, who is also him, he has to be killed as a sacrifice to appease himself in order that we can be forgiven for the stuff that he came up with to condemn us for. I think maybe he might have smoked a bit too much weed.
3.) God the Holy Spirit
Now this is the cool god that makes people speak gibberish, raises people from the dead, heals the sick, and cleans your windows. In some faiths he even allows you to hold poisonous snakes…This god takes front and center in the AoG and we will be speaking a lot more about him in later articles. In the assemblies without the help of this god you will not be able to do anything in the ministry at all. As it is taught, this god is the one that does all the work on earth now that wrathful god has taken a break and weed smoking god is taking his sweet ass time in returning.
So why three….why not 4? Couldn’t god’s wrath be a separate figure in the godhead? How about the god that does the dirty work, such as swallowing whole families and sending plagues? Why not make the devil a 5th figure in the godhead? I mean he did come from god and is allowed to do what he does with god’s authority…if you disagree with that check out a little book called Job.
Truth is, the reason for the Trinity in these beliefs is that it is a bad attempt at explaining an awful belief.
The last thing I want to mention here is that the Assemblies specifically refers to the godhead as “THE ADORABLE GODHEAD.” Isn’t he cute…I mean sure he killed millions, allowed rape and slavery, but gosh darn it he is just so darn adorable while doing it.
To continue on to part 3: click here:Unmasking Doctrine: The Deity of Christ: Virgin Birth