Hammy the Clown: Plant Demons


Hi Boys and Girls, I’m hammy the clown.
Did you know that the world was once perfect and women screwed all that up for us? Of course you do…who doesn’t…I used to tell my ex wife this all the time before she left…
Anyway, at one time the whole world was vegetarian, the people, the animals, the dinosaurs, and even the plants. But after Eve messed things up everything started killing everything else for food and even plants got in on it.
The bible says that when god cursed the earth he made all the plants prickly and mean….so mean that they can kill and eat things all by themselves. Now we all know that plants aren’t alive and that clorophyll is just an evil conspiracy created by NASA, but some plants do kill and eat animals.
Look at this plant that has been possessed by the devil….scientists call them Venus Fly plants…imagine that kids, scientists believe these plants came from venus….scientists are so stupid…

Oh hi My fly, How are you doing today….oh you just enjoy that sweet nectar that god made for you….isn’t god good children, nothing he creates can ever be considered….AAAHHHHHHH oh no My fly, save yourself!!!! Mr fly, I hope you’ve repented because that devil possessed plant has you and is soon going to suck out your soul….isn’t the design of god just beautiful boys and girls…
Anyway, these plants were designed to eat veggies but because god hates sin so much he made them consume flesh….thanks Donna….I mean Eve…..stupid Donna, taking all my money and leaving me to make this shitty kids show…..

Hammy: Well, today we have a very special guest for you tonight…My personal hero….Mr Ben Shapiro! Hi Ben!!!

Jim Shapino: Uhhhh….I am not Ben Shapiro…I am Jim Shapino…
Hammy: Jim Shapino???

Jim Shapino: Well, yes I mean isn’t it obvious, Ben Shapiro is an American conservative political commentator, columnist, author, radio talk show host, and lawyer.


I’m Jim Shapino, American conservative political commentator, columnist, author, radio talk show host, and lawyer who also has a smashing mustache. I think there may have been some sort of mix up…

Hammy: ….get this loser off my show…

Shapino: Hammy I think we can gather that from the outset of the problem that we face today in society that without god we can have no capabilities…..start running on……

Hammy: Ok, well kids that’s all we have for tonights show. Remember the bible is infallible and carnivorous plants are nothing more than little grean demons…

Jim shapino continues to ramble….


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