Unmasking Doctrine

Unmasking Doctrine #5: Deity of Christ: Miracles

Good evening heathens and hell-bound friends and foes alike! Tonight marks another adventure into the world of Assemblies of God doctrine. For the last in this series, click here: Unmasking Doctrine #4: Deity of Christ: Sinless Life. Tonight will be a shorter article because it’s a pretty simplistic thing to grasp.

The Scriptures used by the Assembly to support this doctrine are as follows:

shrugged

So do the miracles of Jesus as written about in the Gospels prove that he was the son of god? No, simply because there is no real proof that any of these stories are true whatsoever. I find myself as a mythicist, believing that the stories about a wandering minister could come from a conglomeration of tales put together into the persona of a single man. I don’t trust that there ever was an actual person who fit all the characteristics of the gospels and I definitely don’t believe that he worked wonders and miracles as is taught in the gospels. I have no faith in any of these.

The reasoning for this is that the miracles come in the forms of either:

A.) Preposterous
B.) Illusions

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In the preposterous category we have:

  1. Casting Demons into pigs
  2. The Loaves and Fishes
  3. Curing blindness with spit and mud

 

 

 

 

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In the illusion category we have:

  1. Turning water into wine
  2. Fish with a coin in its mouth
  3. Causing a lame man to walk

The reason that I state these are either preposterous or Illusion is that the first category are things which are so far out that there would definitely be other corroborating evidence of these miracles outside the bible. A guy turns 5 loaves and 2 fish is something that is going to appear in every local village writing in the area. A cow is born with two heads today and the entire world knows before the next morning, there is no doubt in my mind that the authorities would have kept records of these supposed miracles.

The second category is illusions that a magician today could choose to do if they set their mind to it. Especially the last one that I mention. Every con man worth their weight in salt has had the ability to make a lame man walk…charlatans have traveled the globe committing this fraud. All you need is for a person to pretend to be lame, say some mumbo jumbo to them, and then have them go “walking and leaping and praising god..”

The real problem I have here is that if we are to accept that Jesus is the son of god because of the miracles written about him in the bible, then we would also have to accept any other tale including miracles occurring. Mohammad must have actually pt319.jpgtransported to Jerusalem or else it wouldn’t have been written in the Qu’ran. Krishna really did lift a mountain and balance it on his pinky because it’s written that he did. I really do have a foot-long penis because I just wrote that I have a foot-long penis.

The main basis against these claims is that they are simply claims with no evidence to actually support them. You can’t believe everything that is written on the internet and this has been true no matter what medium is being used to convey the message. People lie on the internet, they lie on tv, newspapers, radio, books, pamphlets, papyrus and even cuneiform were written with lies included. People tell tall tales and the longer they are told the bigger the tales get.

I’ll admit that it is slightly possible that there might have been a man named Yeshua, who ministered in the area, and had people claim that he performed many signs and wonders. I’ll admit that today there was a man named Osho, who ministered, and his followers claim many signs and wonders were performed by him. However I do not claim any faith in any of the wonders or miracles that either of these two people are claimed to have performed.

And if you don’t believe me…here is what President Lincoln had to say on the matter…

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General Information

Update to Schedule 02/12/2018

Thank you to everyone who has followed my blog. I want you all to know how much i truly appreciate you and how much enjoyment I have had bringing these articles to you on a nearly daily basis. Since I’m entering the realm of video production, I will have less time to write. I’m not going to stop writing altogether because I love it. However there will be less articles written throughout the week in order to give me more time for video and voice recording as well as all of the editing involved in getting a video put together.

So tonight I thought I would give you a layout for how these changes are going to affect the blog.

Video Production will be as follows:

1 or 2 short videos per week.
A Pentecostal Atheist Bible Study will be a Bi-Weekly video.
Satanic Sunday is now going to become a Bi-Weekly video.
(The two Bi-Weekly videos will alternate so one week I will release a Bible Study and the next week I will release a Satanic Sunday post.)

Blog Articles:

Tuesday Nights: Unmasking Doctrine
Thursday Night: Inoculation Against Indoctrination
Friday Night: Videos of The Week
Free-Thought Friday: Guest Blog when I have a submission available to post

Quick-Bits:

Just a Thought: These will be Memes that I found funny or thought-provoking.

 

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the new schedule and continue following this blog. Thanks again!

The Godless Iowan

Satanic Sundays

Satanic Sunday: Other Denominations

Good Morning Heathens and Hell-Bound friends and foes alike. I hope everyone is having a great Sunday, getting ready for atheist church and the potluck later. It’s time for another Satanic Sunday! For the last article in this series, click here:Satanic Sunday #11: Technological Advancements.

hell

Growing up in a Christian fundamentalist home, we were taught to believe that anyone who did not go to church were evil, and yet nearly as evil were the members of other denominations and sometimes simply the members of other churches in our same denomination. Let me break it down for you.

  • All the people outside the church – Definitely going to hell.
  • All the people in other denominations – Almost certainly going to hell
  • All the people in the church the next town over – probably going to hell.
  • All the people except for yourself, maybe going to hell.
  • You worry that you too are going to end up in hell.
  • So yep, everyone is going to hell.

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People who belonged to other denominations though, were especially heinous. Not only were they going to burn in hell but they were teaching Christianity wrong. They had the audacity to believe a slightly different interpretation of the scriptures and so they couldn’t possibly be right. It was absolutely clear that they only Christians that had ever gotten it completely right were the founders of our own particular brand of Christianity.

  • Mormons – Not even Christians they believe in Joseph Smith and Native American Jews.
  • Catholics – We like their Bible but they are idolaters who worship saints and drink booze.
  • Calvinists No Free-Will? Go F yourself…and by F yourself we mean “Forget” because swearing is evil.
  • Baptists – Once Save Always Saved My Ascot, Once Saved always burning in hell.
  • Methodists – Sleepy faith of burning sinners
  • Episcopal – They like Gays? Burn!
  • Presbyterians – We have no idea what you believe but burn in hell!
  • Lutherans – It was Adam and Eve not Luther and Steve!!!!

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Seriously, if there was one thing that I was warned about more than leaving the church it was following a different branch of the church. The only real Christians were tongue talking, spirit walking, devil slaying, earnest praying, kiss stealing, wheeling dealing Pentecostals of the particular denomination we belonged to at that given point.

I say at that point because we were Assembly of God and then we were Full Gospel, when we were Assembly the Full Gospel church seemed sinful, then when we were Full Gospel the Assembly looked sinful. We then settled into another Assembly of God church and once again the Full Gospel church was sinful…it was weird…

shrugged

One reason for this is that churches are incredibly competitive and they are all trying to get your business. Well, the Catholics are just kinda there, like a religious Wal-Mart, and they don’t really need to compete to stay in business, they just exist. Outside of the Catholics, the rest of the churches are fighting to gather in people from the same pool that every other church is working. The easiest way to keep the members you currently have, and gather in gullible new people, is claim that all the other churches are evil.

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Ministers do not like to lose members and so they will even portray a neighboring church from the same denomination as evil. Maybe the minister isn’t quite strong enough on a certain passage in the Bible. Perhaps you heard that the kids are unruly in a neighboring church and so obviously the minister there has no control over his church. Do they have a dirty past? You’ll bring that shit up in order to keep your own members. For every evil that modern politics has, religion has been doing it for much longer.

When I was a child I can remember more about the neighboring churches ministers than I can about many of our own home church ministers.

  • One minister had a gay son.
  • One minister had been divorced before becoming a Christian.
  • One smoked a pipe
  • One drank a few beers every now and then.
  • One had an extra-marital affair…..maybe…

None of them were as holy and good as our own pastor, and he let us know all about it. It wasn’t uncommon for a sermon to be completely about something that the minister heard about another minister and why he was definitely leading his congregation to hell.

One of the good things that I can say is that when I became a minister this type of thing had much less of a stigma. Most churches are liberalizing a good degree because they are losing members left and right. People no longer simply accept what they hear on Sunday as the golden truth and so outright lying about members of other churches is not as prominent anymore. Churches come together much more often for community potlucks and fellowship meetings.

It might seem strange but I was in my late teens before I even heard that members of another denomination could actually be considered as Christians. Even then it was said in a sermon that was highly criticized by the older members of the church and that pastor was voted out not long after he gave this sermon. Those older members are now gone and this sense of superiority to other denominations went with them, for the most part, Catholics and Mormons excluded.

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