Bad Theism · Inoculation Against Indoctrination

Inoculation Against Indoctrination: Ages 7-12: Servant Mindset Begins

Good evening Heathens and Hell-Bound friends and foes alike! It’s time for another edition of the indoctrination series. For the last article in this series, click here: Inoculation Against Indoctrination: Ages 4-6: Jesus Loves You. If you’d like to start at the beginning of this series, click here:Inoculation Against Indoctrination: Ages 0-3: Sights and Sounds.

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So let’s get this out of the way…Did you know that you are trash? You’re garbage and there is absolutely nothing good about you. The only possible thing about you that could be good would be your love and adoration of god. Do you love god? But do you really love him? No, seriously, do you love him more than anything else in this world? Well you better because if not he’s going to hurt you.

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Ever fallen off your bike? Well imagine feeling that pain times 1 gazillion, now you know just how bad it’s going to hurt if you don’t love god more than anything else in this world. Now…how are you going to prove to god that you love him? Well, you’re going to volunteer in the church, you’ll collect the weekly offerings, sing songs to the lord, tell your friends about Jesus and definitely invite them to church so that they can be injected with the fear of hell as well.

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Ages 7-12 are crucial years when it comes to indoctrination. You’ve spent the majority of your life up until this point being told that god loves you, he wants you to be happy and you’ve heard all the fun stories about all the people who god loved in the past. Now it’s time to take on the next step because you are starting to ask actual questions. During this time you will stop believing in Santa, the Easter Bunny, Unicorns, and other mythical creatures….and so in the back of your mind you begin to question whether or not this god character is real too.

So how do you put an end to the doubts? You add a healthy dose of fear. Most churches believe that the age of accountability, or in other words the age that you know right from wrong begins somewhere between the ages of 7 and 12. It’s time to learn about hell. Hell is the opposite of everything that you have been told about god up to this point. It’s dark, painful, filled with evil people. Are you evil? If you don’t worship god perfectly then you most definitely are.

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You are also beginning to make friends between these ages that are more than simply the play dates that you may have had prior to this age. So the church puts a big ad on your forehead, in some denominations literally, and tells you that you must tell all your friends about Jesus so they don’t go to hell. Also, it’s very important to understand that any friend who scoffs at your witnessing is evil and you should cut ties as quickly as possible or else they may drag you to hell with them.

One of the things that bothered me the most, even when I was a minister is how few people ever advance past this stage of belief. They know just enough about the biblical stories to give a brief synopsis and faith statement and they fear hell just enough to keep them from leaving the faith. While this bothered me greatly it’s actually how it’s meant to be when it comes to the church, they don’t want you asking big questions, they want you dumb, gullible, and perfectly happy dropping loads of money into the offering plate.

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Two words that I never heard a minister ever preach about…”Critical Thinking.”

Soon you will be old enough to join the youth group and really start living in service to god, at the moment though your service will primarily be within the church. Putting on plays, skits for the adults, singing in the choir, and maybe acting as an usher in some churches. You won’t be given tough tasks but you will be given a ton of praise for those tasks you are given, even if you do poorly. The idea is to get the pleasure center of your brain associated with servitude and acceptance.

Unmasking Doctrine

Unmasking Doctrine #5: Deity of Christ: Miracles

Good evening heathens and hell-bound friends and foes alike! Tonight marks another adventure into the world of Assemblies of God doctrine. For the last in this series, click here: Unmasking Doctrine #4: Deity of Christ: Sinless Life. Tonight will be a shorter article because it’s a pretty simplistic thing to grasp.

The Scriptures used by the Assembly to support this doctrine are as follows:

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So do the miracles of Jesus as written about in the Gospels prove that he was the son of god? No, simply because there is no real proof that any of these stories are true whatsoever. I find myself as a mythicist, believing that the stories about a wandering minister could come from a conglomeration of tales put together into the persona of a single man. I don’t trust that there ever was an actual person who fit all the characteristics of the gospels and I definitely don’t believe that he worked wonders and miracles as is taught in the gospels. I have no faith in any of these.

The reasoning for this is that the miracles come in the forms of either:

A.) Preposterous
B.) Illusions

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In the preposterous category we have:

  1. Casting Demons into pigs
  2. The Loaves and Fishes
  3. Curing blindness with spit and mud

 

 

 

 

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In the illusion category we have:

  1. Turning water into wine
  2. Fish with a coin in its mouth
  3. Causing a lame man to walk

The reason that I state these are either preposterous or Illusion is that the first category are things which are so far out that there would definitely be other corroborating evidence of these miracles outside the bible. A guy turns 5 loaves and 2 fish is something that is going to appear in every local village writing in the area. A cow is born with two heads today and the entire world knows before the next morning, there is no doubt in my mind that the authorities would have kept records of these supposed miracles.

The second category is illusions that a magician today could choose to do if they set their mind to it. Especially the last one that I mention. Every con man worth their weight in salt has had the ability to make a lame man walk…charlatans have traveled the globe committing this fraud. All you need is for a person to pretend to be lame, say some mumbo jumbo to them, and then have them go “walking and leaping and praising god..”

The real problem I have here is that if we are to accept that Jesus is the son of god because of the miracles written about him in the bible, then we would also have to accept any other tale including miracles occurring. Mohammad must have actually pt319.jpgtransported to Jerusalem or else it wouldn’t have been written in the Qu’ran. Krishna really did lift a mountain and balance it on his pinky because it’s written that he did. I really do have a foot-long penis because I just wrote that I have a foot-long penis.

The main basis against these claims is that they are simply claims with no evidence to actually support them. You can’t believe everything that is written on the internet and this has been true no matter what medium is being used to convey the message. People lie on the internet, they lie on tv, newspapers, radio, books, pamphlets, papyrus and even cuneiform were written with lies included. People tell tall tales and the longer they are told the bigger the tales get.

I’ll admit that it is slightly possible that there might have been a man named Yeshua, who ministered in the area, and had people claim that he performed many signs and wonders. I’ll admit that today there was a man named Osho, who ministered, and his followers claim many signs and wonders were performed by him. However I do not claim any faith in any of the wonders or miracles that either of these two people are claimed to have performed.

And if you don’t believe me…here is what President Lincoln had to say on the matter…

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